"Hey (hey) I am not my hair I am not this skin I am not your expectations, no (hey) I am not my hair I am not this skin I am the soul that lives within" -Song By India Arie Simpson
Snip, snip…
Snip, snip. I looked down, and more than half of my hair was lying there. What was once attached floated down and gracefully fell to the floor. I looked at my reflection in the circular mirror before me, smiled, took a deep breath, and told my hairstylist, “I love it. This is going to be great.”
I’d been toying with getting a cut for a few years, unwittingly holding onto my tresses due to a lack of maturity and resources to execute it. But when I finally entered the salon that still, bright August morning, I had no idea disowning my thick shoulder-length hair would untether my perspective. I never really bought into the Black girl anthem of “I am not my hair” or, conversely, the defacto “it’s just hair” or, for that matter, anything to do with cutting hair equating to freedom. So, while I could see and understand how affirming a position worked for some, I was largely indifferent. Yet, how my life has changed in a year leaves me no choice but to refute my former outlook.
Getting a haircut —removing the dead ends or more— is literally taking the weight off your shoulders, and it is quite freeing. Although it took time to materialize, life without my long locks has created a domino effect.
Getting a haircut —removing the dead ends or more— is literally taking the weight off your shoulders, and it is quite freeing.
Once back on campus in September, I found my dramatic change in appearance had revealed a nascent internal struggle. I found I was inspired to try new things. I felt a freedom I’d never allowed myself to know before. Parting ways with friendships preventing me from being my most authentic and productive self and finding a few fueled by all life has to offer. The process of re-evaluating who I was and who I wanted to be was painful, dissatisfying, and anxiety-ridden. I spent countless hours clinging to friendships that were drifting away instead of embracing who I AM and making space for those who would appreciate me.
